The Journey

I'm not sure why but this lady, Susan Boyle inspires me so much. When she first sang on Britain's Got Talent, I cried when I heard her sing. This week she was on the finale of America's Got Talent singing 'Wild Horses' and once again her performance brought me to tears.

I think it has to do with her story. She and I are pretty close in age ... late 40's. So that may be what draws me to her. That is where the similarities end. She appears to have lived a very simple and calm life ... I think my life has been complicated and intense. I think I raced through life not really living in the moment. Everything I`ve done was for some future cause. What do I mean by that ... well you`ve heard the saying it`s not the destination but the journey that counts. I was always thinking of attaining or completing and forgetting to enjoy the time spent achieving those goals.

Personally, I think it`s some fear in me that causes me to always think about the future. To always want to accomplish and attain.

So I think of her journey through life and I think about my journey through life and I grieve a bit. I`m so happy for her successes. I don`t feel that way about mine.

Anyways, here is video of Susan Boyle on America`s Got Talent ...

Loan Or Gift

A couple of my favorite shows are Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown. I felt it was good for me to watch these programs because I've always felt it important to be fair and equitable with people. I thought I might lack some of these skills in my upbringing.

One of the issues that seems to be repeated on these shows is whether something is a loan or a gift. Often on these shows people ... family, friends help others with gifts or loans of money, car payments, jail bail, etc, etc. and then there are the people that appear to live off of other people's generosity and expect this to be a gift.

That is exactly where things get complicated ... was this a loan or a gift? Somewhere along the way there was some miscommunication and it's up to the judge to figure out what it is. Sometimes it just isn't clear. So, how do people, especially the ones loaning out monies, etc. get themselves into these situations? What are they thinking? Are they just trying to be helpful or have they developed a strange relationship with this person ... similar to an enabler with an addict. Let's not forget control issues either.

And then, what's with the person who expects this to be a gift? Are they living off other people's generosity? Are they flat out lazy? Are they users?

As mentioned earlier, I felt my skills were lacking in this area. I've seen situations where what appears to be a gift turns out to be control on the part of the giver. "I gave you this and this and did this and this for you and you don't appreciate it ... well I'll show you." Manipulation via money.

I find in my life I've shyed away from gifts and helpful loans. I prefer taking care of myself.

Ladies ... Please

When I was growing up ... I so was a woman's libber .... I wouldn't allow a man to buy my drinks, my meals, even open doors for me because I wanted to be treated as an equal and taken seriously. I was extremely independent and wanted the world to know it.

However, I got a tell you about some girls making the news here in Edmonton ... four 19 year old girls caught a cab from a strip club/restaurant and decided to take advantage of a situation ... I guess. They decided to light up a cigarette in a cab ... which is illegal. When the cab driver said there could be a $500 fine for smoking ... so put it out ... the girls demanded the cab driver to stop and let them out .... they refused to pay the $13 cab fare ... they accused the cab driver of trying to molest them and ... the police were called.

Obviously, it was their word against his. NOT! There was a camera in the cab so when the police came, the cab driver played the video to the police.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, they picked on the wrong guy. No charges were laid but the cab driver is suing the girls.

Ladies ... please ... for years woman have been trying very hard to get men and society to take them seriously ... don't screw it up by acting like juveniles.

Here is the whole article ... Edmonton cabbie sues passengers over false assault allegations

No Shortage Of Greed

Today on the local news there was a piece about a 75 year old Alzheimer's woman who died. She lived alone in her house and didn't allow people to visit her home. It appears her family members hadn't been in to see her for sounds like years prior.

Based on the pictures they showed on television, she was a hoarder. Every room was filled with stuff but the news article focused on one particular part of the hoarding ... the lady had approximately $50,000 of unopened Avon products stored in boxes and bags in the basement.

Her Avon representative lived a few doors down the street and was one of the one people this lady would allow into her house. Apparently they had built a nice trusting relationship.

I'm floored ... what does one say? How greedy and selfish do you have to be to take advantage of someone like that?

The news station sent out a 'trouble shooter' to phone and knock on the sales ladies' door but of course we know ... that would be to no avail. The trouble shooter finally called Avon head office and after a few days, they agreed to pick up at the cost of Avon all unopened unused product for a refund.

So back to our friendly neighborhood Avon representative. What motivated her? $$$$$ Need I say more. I'm just so appalled at some people's behavior. How can they live with themselves? At some point the representative must have justified this to herself. I would have loved to be in her mind at the moment.

Do you notice any similarities to some other greedy people in the news .... AGI ... Wall Street ... Mortgage companies. I would have loved to be in their minds as they justified what they were doing.

What A Mess

We're all mad at AIG. Their executives bear a large share of the responsibility for bringing the economy to it's knees, and now the same folks are getting hundreds of millions of dollars in bonuses -- at our expense. Join us for a field trip to bring them the message.

What a mess it all is. There is so much anger out there towards AIG that a group, Working Families has started a tour of some of the AIG executives homes.

I know this is wrong but deep down, I feel ... yes ... good for them. Someone has to take responsibility. Intellectually, I know AIG isn't the 'one' but then who?.

How did the economy get to be such a mess? There is no easy answer and yes everyone is to blame but really ... I'm ready to start pointing fingers. We have some of the greatest, smartest, most educated people running these companies, these financial institutions, the government and what do we get ... childish behavior ... "I want it all"... "I'll lie to get it".... "I will cheat to get it" ..."I have no morals because it's all about me".

Oh sorry, we are talking about some of the brightest people in the world ... I must be mistaken.

What ever happened to morals?

LIfe

This blog is was created to help me figure out some of the confusing things I do and some the confusing things people do. Really it's me trying to figure out what I did right and what I did wrong in LIFE ... and maybe learn a lesson or two so that for the remainder of my life, I can be a happier person.

A happier person ... that reminds me of something Joan Rivers said ... by the way I don't normally go to Joan for advice on life ... but she did say something that caught my attention and made me think. She said," People aren't happy, they can only be happier." I understand that as .... people struggle through life and this being 'happy' is just not a reality for most. I don't know ... that is the feeling I get. Let me know if I've got it wrong.

I'll tell you one thing, right now I'm listening to some music on my blogger friend Renee's blog ... Circling My Head and I'm definitely happier.

What's In A Name

My entrance into this world was a bit more dramatic than I would have wanted. I was sitting breach in my mother's womb and the situation had become critical. The doctors felt one of us was not going to make it, so a priest was called in. Everything turned out O.K. but while all this was happening, a Ukrainian catholic priest was asked to name me. My birth certificate showed ... Euhenia Odarka.

This whole story has haunted me my whole life. I always felt I needed to do something larger than life ... that I owed my mother for all the grief I gave her at birth as well also to God for saving my life and the priest for naming me. Well it all backfired a bit, because being catholic, the guilt is awful. I could never live up to the name and felt alienated by it. At 18 I changed it to Daria.